And I thought boys were bad...

All the dirt of boys, plus the attitude...

Monday, October 6, 2014

I have a teenage daughter...

My name is Kristen and I have a teenage daughter.

This is an admission far larger than it looks.  It means, I have no idea what I am doing.  It means that I feel like I have lost control.  It means that I am terrified that I'm doing it wrong.  It means I need help.

I am coming up against things I never dealt with as a teen because the internet wasn't a part of my life when I was her age.  I didn't have a cell phone.  I don't knwo what to do when she abuses these things.  I mean, I do.  I take them away, but the reality is that she is going to have to live with this technology and she needs to know how to be safe.  It's like any other social have to learn it to do it safely.  You have to use it to learn it.

The problem is that I feel like I have lost control.  Like I don't have any idea what is going on in her life, though at the same time I feel like we have a pretty open line of communication.  Am I fooling myself or can both be true?

After spending way too much "at work" time googling the interwebs for answers, I have come up with one.

I feel like I have lost control because I have.  She is not a child anymore.  She is a teen.  She is going to make mistakes and the consequences of those mistakes are going to suck.  All I can do is try to minimize the size of the mistakes that she makes.  Not giving her a data plan for her phone is one way.  Taking away the camera phone when I see an issue is another...

...but there will be mistakes and there is nothing I can do about it.

How do I make peace with that?  How do I raise her without locking her down, and therefore losing her, completely?

My name is Kristen and I have a teenage daughter.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Letting go

So I have already failed.  I wanted to start writing at least one post a week and I completely missed last week!  Talk about a lack of commitment...

Oh, well.  It's Monday and it's a new week.  I can just start again.  That's the awesome thing about life, right?  Having a bad day?  It's only gonna last 24 hours!  Having a bad morning?  Only till noon!  We have this amazing ability to change our perception and change our lives whenever we want.  We are never stuck!

This is something I have to remember for myself every day.  See, I work in sales.  Over the phone.  I get people hanging up on me and yelling at me for existing most days.  How in the world would I be able to continue to do this job if I couldn't start my hour/morning/day/week over whenever I need to?

It's a valuable lesson, though, outside of work as well.  I don't have to sit in a bad feeling.  I don't have to stay in a shitty moment.  I get to leave that minute in 60 seconds and I can choose to leave it behind me.  Now, I can also choose to carry it with me.  We all can.  The problem is that if we choose to carry it with us, we end up carrying around a figurative bag of bad minutes and days that just weigh us down.

One of the main things I try to impart on my little and not so little ones is that they don't have to put minutes in that sack.  They don't even have to have one!  They can just let all those bad minutes go and make the next one rock!  It's hard and it's a process, but anyone can do it and everyone should.

How do you let go of the crap that weighs you down?

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Life Is Good

It's been brought to my attention that I have not written anything here in a long freaking time and it's true!  I've been really busy with living life and I haven't made much time to write about it.

So what's been going on with us?  Well, let's start with the kids since that's what this is all about. 

Miss A turned 13 a couple of weeks ago, though we all know she's been a teenager in mind for a while...No, she's actually blossoming from an amazing child to a wonderful young lady.  I am very proud of her!  She went on her first airplane trip by herself to visit her Nana in Utah.  They went to the zoo, an amusement park, and her very first concert!  The baby who made me a mommy isn't much of a baby anymore...

CC is coming into her own as well.  She's definitely becoming her very own person: smart, talented, and has her very own interests in things.  She's got opinions about everything.  The biggest challenge with her is teaching her when it's appropriate to express those opinions and when going along is the best option.  She's got some spunk in her and I love it!  She'll definitely be one who gets what she wants out of life and she'll do it by force if need be.

Hubby and I have started our very own business.  You may or may not remember that we switched from smoking cigarettes to vaping a while ago.  Part of getting on board with that, for us, was learning to make our own e-liquid, or e-juice.  It was important to me to know how it was all made.  I needed to know that I was moving away from something really bad for me and toward something that was going to be better.  A lot of research went into really committing to vaping and that lead me to become passionate about the flavor of my e-liquid.  Needless to say we developed some flavors and released a juice line: Shades of X.  We are doing well and are loving every minute of it.

Of course we both still have our jobs.  I don't know that this will ever become something I can do fulltime, but it's fun and we are helping people.  That's the point.

I am going to try to find time to write at least once a week.  It's a really good exercise for me, even if no one ever reads it.  It's good to find time to reflect on life and find out what really matters.  Life can get pretty overwhelming if I never take a step back and look at the bigger picture.

If you're reading this, how are you?  What's new in your life?

Monday, September 9, 2013

Bevo's Adventure

Saturday morning started off like any other.  I woke up to the sound of my alarm at the awful time of 8:30am.  I know, that probably doesn't sound early to you and you might even being thinking, "lucky bitch" if you have a baby, but this is still an early Saturday for me.  I don't like being awake that early any day of the week...I am, but I don't like it.

Anyway, I got up and got ready to go grocery shopping like I always do.  As I was doing this, Hubby was checking out his Facebook feed and noticed that our very dear friends' dogs got out the night before.  We decided that grocery shopping could wait and that we would help them look for the dogs.  When we arrived at their house, we were told that one of the dogs had been found already, but there were no leads on the other.  We started looking immediately.  We divided up the town into parts that the dog could have gotten to and went off to search.

After about an hour or so, the other dog was found.  He was hanging out at a yard sale.  When our friend found him he had a couple cuts on his face and was exhausted, but other than that he was okay.  We figured he had gotten into a disagreement with a raccoon during the 8-9 hours he was out.  Little did we know, Bevo had had an adventure.

Apparently, a little while after he had gotten out, Bevo found his way to the gas station down the street.  He went inside and, I guess after not finding what he wanted, he left.  Then he came back in.  Yes, in the store.  We were told he went in and out of the store quite a few times.  Finally, the owners were ready to close up and were wondering what to do with this dog who seemed quite at home in the candy isle.  A local bar owner happened to be inside at closing time and volunteered to take Bevo home for the night and find his owners in the morning.  How nice!

Unfortunately, Bevo did not want to stay in this man's backyard and broke out.  He wandered around for a while, we guess, until he found the yard sale he was eventually recovered at.

Now, to top all this off, our friend had asked a man he saw on the street the night before if he had seen the dog.  The man hadn't, but said he would keep an eye out.  As it turns out, this man is the neighbor of the bar owner who rescued the dog from the gas station.  Both the bar owner and the neighbor ended up coming by our friends' house to make sure the dog had returned home safely!

This is just a piece of the awesome that comes from living in a small town!

Friday, September 6, 2013

Back to Life

It's been a really long time since I have written anything here.  I'm pretty sure anyone who read it before has given up on seeing something new, but here it is anyway!

We have been super busy with wrapping up summer and getting back to school!  Miss A is off to a wonderful start and I could not be happier!!  She is enjoying all her classes and even made the volleyball team!!  She is doing really well and has her first game coming up really soon!!

Little CC is loving her new class, especially since she already knew her teacher!  She has "gotten back together" with some friends from first grade and is super excited about school.  She is also in the midst of planning her 8th birthday party.  So far, she has decided on a "Diva" theme (zebra print and pink) and I think we will end up doing hair, nails, make-up and maybe even do a fashion shoot!

Having the girls back in school has been a welcome break for Hubby, I'm sure.  He was juggling them and working from home all summer long.  I know he is happy to have his quiet days back!

Actually, in celebration of the kids going back to school, we both took their first day off of work!  We spent the whole day just being grown ups and hanging out.  It was fantastic!! 

Honestly, I think they missed school as much as we did.

Anyway, I will be writing more now that things have died down.

How was your end of summer/beginning of the school year?

Friday, August 2, 2013

At a Loss

I have been sitting her for quite a while trying to figure out how to start this.  I still don't know, so I figured this would work.

It's not that I haven't had anything to say these last couple weeks.  It's more that I haven't really known how.  There have been a lot of things on my mind and I just haven't had the words to write.

I found them, though.

Get ready.

I'll be back on Monday with a new post.

Thanks for your patience!

Friday, July 12, 2013

California - Saying Goodbye

This is part of a series.  Click the following links to catch up: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.

This post has taken me the longest to write.  Actually, as I type this I am sitting at home.  I am sitting in my living room, having already said goodbye to everyone, and I am still having a hard time with it.

See, leaving California to move to Texas was a big decision.  It was hard, but at the same time it was adventurous.  The sadness associated with saying goodbye the first time was overshadowed by the adventure I was going on. I was starting this new life and it was exciting.  This time it was different.

I wasn't more sad this time.  In fact, I may have even been more okay with leaving this time.  It was just different.

Every interaction began with the foreboding of goodbye.  The girls felt it most of all.  I could see them tense and act out as time wore down with any person.  It was very hard to watch.  We, of course, talked about it and decided that we said "good-bye" when we left, and that wasn't true because there we were saying "goodbye" again.  So we decided that unless we want to be liars, it's not "goodbye."  It's "see you later." It's "see you in a while."

We will be back to visit, California.  Make no mistake.  This is not "good-bye,"  it's "see you soon."