And I thought boys were bad...

All the dirt of boys, plus the attitude...

Monday, August 27, 2012

Need a Break

With everything that has been going on lately: kid stuff, school for me and the kids, community stuff, etc, I need a little break from writing.

Things have been so busy and they are going to continue that way for a little while.  I need to get back into the swing of school and find a job.  I need to figure out the girls' schedule with cheer and school.  I really just need to focus my time on my family for a bit.

I'll explain when I return.  I know you all understand. 

I'll miss you, but don't worry...I'll be back. =)

I will be back on September 3rd with a new post.

Have a great week!!

Friday, August 24, 2012

Things Kids Say

So a couple weeks ago, CC and I were talking about what she wants to be when she grows up.  Miss A has had her career planned out since she was 5, obviously subject to change but it hasn't yet.  CC is almost 7 and, though I don't push her for an answer, she has been really thinking about it.  CC hears Miss A talk about her life goals and has started ot come up with her own.

So, CC tells me that she wants to be a doctor, but not the kind that deals with blood because, "blood is gross!"  lol  I suggest she could be a dermatologist.  I explain what that is and she seemed pretty pleased.  Then she asked me if doctors make a lot of money.

The answer is that yes, doctors tend to make more money than other people, but the goal of any profession should be to do something you love and are passionate about.  Obviously the bulls need  to get paid, but why waste your life on something that makes you unhappy?

CC tells me that she wants to make a lot of money because she wants to buy a mansion when she grows up.  Ooooooohhhhh...a mansion?  lol  I ask if Dad and I can live with her when we get older.  "Of course!" is the first response I get.

Then, a few seconds later...

"Well, I don't know...I don't really want my mansion to smell like old people."

WTH? lol!!

What is the funniest thing your kid has said to you?

Monday, August 20, 2012

It's Just Life

Today marks the first day of the last week of summer vacation.  I'm really mixed about it.  I mean, don't get me wrong.  I have the same feeling of relief that every parent has at the end of summer break.  I am definitely happy that my girls will be heading back to school and not be stuck at home all day anymore.

We did a lot of stuff this summer, and we are not done.  It's going to be nice, though, to have that school schedule again for them.  They do well in school.  They have the time apart they need to not drive me nuts while driving each other nuts at home.  The end of summer always brings more arguments between them and it'll be nice to have some more peace during the day.

My mixed feelings come, mostly, from the fact that I will also be starting school and work in about a week.  I got admitted into the university that I wanted and so I'll be starting classes.  I also need to look harder for work now that the kids will be out of the house during the day.  I'm super nervous.

I have worked and gone to school and raised kids and been a wife and attempted to have a social life before.  It worked out okay.  It was hard, though.  My life has been pretty easy since we moved here and it's about to get quite a bit harder.

I know I'll be okay.  I know I'll find time for my kids and my husband.  I know I'll have my "me time."  I also know that I will be very busy.  It's mostly anxiousness because none of it has actually started yet.  I know once it does that it'll be fine.  I'll be fine.  My kids will be fine.

This is just one of those times where things are up in the air for a minute and I am just waiting for them to fall into place.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Sympathy vs Empathy

My girls have recently made a new friend.  Well, really Miss A has, but CC considers everyone to be her friend, so...Anyway, this new friend has got me thinking about something I never considered teaching my girls before.  It's the difference between sympathy and empathy.

I always took it for granted that I just knew that and, I guess, that they would as well.  I'm seeing now that this was something I was taught somewhere along the way.  Now I am trying to figure out how to teach it to my girls.

See, sympathy is that feeling you get when you see something bad happen to someone and you feel pity for them.  You feel bad for them.  This is not helpful to anyone.

Empathy is when you see someone's situation and you try to put yourself in their place so you can understand them better.  Sometimes you do this to help someone, and sometimes just so that you can understand their choices better.

The friend that my girls have made is having a hard time right now.  Her father just got hired at a new job and I can only assume that he was without one for a while.  The girl tells about how he would sleep in the parking lot at a local store and about how she only eats dinner right now.  It's hard not to feel bad for her, but that is not going to help.  Not on it's own.

We, of course, have invited the girl over while dad works so she can hang out.  Of course while she is here she eats with my girls.  That's just the human thing to do.

The lesson here is trying to teach my girls that they can be friends with this girl and help out without feeling pity for her.  That they can try to understand, to the best of their ability, how she is feeling but not feel bad for her.  That they can help without placing themselves in a place where they are above her.

I guess that is the biggest difference between sympathy and empathy.  Sympathy infers that you are better than the person you hold sympathy for.  Empathy means that you recognize you are equal.

Anyway, that is the message I am trying to get across to my kids right now.

Any suggestions?

Monday, August 13, 2012

Sometimes "Try" Is All You Can Do

Today has been one of those days I hate to admit I have.  I am tired of my kids.  I know, that sounds horrible.  I love them.  I do.  I just don't want to be around them right now.  Everything they are doing is bothering the crap out of me.

Like, as I type, CC is running back and forth across the living room getting the dog to chase her.  This is not out of character.  Yes, I normally tell her to quit it or take it outside, but right now I am letting it go because if I don't, I'll probably yell.  I don't want to yell.

It's not their fault that I feel so "done" today.  It's really not.  I have been doing SO much lately that I haven't really had time to breathe.  I keep thinking that summer is almost over and the kids will be going into school soon, but then I remember the end of summer also means that I will be working and going to school, too!

It's just a lot right now.

What I can take from this, though, is that every mom has off days.  Every mom has days where all they can do is try.  Try not to yell.  Try to seem interested.  Try to be a parent.  Today was not perfect, but it was a day.

My girls are in tact.  They are happy and healthy.  Thankfully I have my wonderful hubby who works from home.  I was able to take a few hours this afternoon and just "be," by myself, in my room.  No, "Mommy...."  No needs to be met except for my own need for solitude.

All parents need that break.  I forget sometimes and think I am Superwoman or something.  Life has a way of reminding me that is not so.

Have you ever had a day where all you can do is try?  What do you do when you need a break?

Friday, August 10, 2012

Deal Or No Deal

Miss A and CC are constantly making deals with each other.  Things like: If you play Barbies with me now, I'll give you a back massage later, or If you watch this show with me right now, I'll play Littlest Pet Shops with you after...This would be fine, except, well, we always have one or the other of them that doesn't follow through.

We end up with CC coming downstairs, crying, tell us that Miss A broke a deal with her and that she is upset and can we please make her follow through.

We have situations where Miss A comes down and tells us that she gave CC her part of the bargain first and then CC backed out of the second part and can we please do something.

We have tried to make the deal-breaker follow through, but it always ends up worse because the deal-breaker has a crappy attitude and the offended party is hurt further.

Dad came up with the idea that whoever breaks the deal has to pay the other one a dollar.  That sounded like it could work, in theory, but it really just led to the girls making stuff up so they could get money from the other one.

My solution, as of late, has been to tell them to not make deals.  Just don't make deals.  If you do make a deal and you don't get the part promised to you, it is your fault for agreeing to the deal anyway.  "You are not supposed to be making deals anyway, so the natural consequence is that your sister flakes."

I mean, they know it's going to happen!  They have GOT to know by now that neither one of them is trustworthy when it comes to this crap.

Yes, of course they get the talk about how they are sisters and that is a lifelong relationship.  That instead of taking advantage of each other they should cherish their relationship.  Reality, though, is that they are sisters.  They are going to do stupid crap to each other and hopefully they won't do anything so stupid that the other one can't forgive it.

I just get so frustrated with the deals.  I mean, come on, if someone kept telling you they would do something for you if only you did something for them first, and then they never followed through, you'd stop making deals with them, right??  I know I would.  And it wouldn't take nearly as many times as it has for my girls so far.

Have you ever dealt with this?  Do you have a solution we haven't tried?  Is this something they will simply grow out of?

Monday, August 6, 2012

Kids and Pets

One of my favorite things to see is my girls playing with our dog.  I've always known that it's important for kids to have pets.  I had cats all my life and got my first dog(followed closely by a second one) in high school.  Pets teach kids much needed lessons about life, responsibility, loss, and friendship.  Having a pet teaches these lessons in a way that no parent could ever do.

Up until we moved to Texas, we have had cats.  We lived in apartments and dogs were simply not an option.  We have rescued kittens who were abandoned by their mother.  We have nursed them and adopted them out.  We have adopted them from friends and shelters.  Mind you, I am NOT a crazy cat lady.  The most we had at one time was five.  The only reason we had that many was because they were abandoned at about 3 days old and we nursed them and got them ready to be adopted out.

Now that we are in Texas, in a house, we are able to have a dog.  A year ago we adopted our lab/hound mix and named her Rosalie. 

My kids have done nothing but benefit from Rosalie's presence in our home.  She has taught the girls that they need to put their stuff away...otherwise Rosalie will eat it(she's still a puppy and will be until she is about 3years old).  She has taught them about compassion.  When they are not feeling well, Rosalie will lay with them and love them until they are better. 

I love to watch my girls play with her.  Just this morning they were all running around the backyard.  Miss A and CC chasing Rosalie and Rosalie happily evading their grasps.  Every once in a while they would come upon a situation where one girl or the other was running straight at Rosalie and she was running straight at them, kind of like a game of chicken.  Rosalie always turned.  Never wanting to harm the kids(I am well aware that, if she so chose, she could run straight through either child).

Our puppy has taught my girls so much in this last year.  I wouldn't trade her for anything.  She is a member of our family and we love her.

Do your kids have a pet?  If so, what lessons have your children learned as a result of caring for an animal? 

Friday, August 3, 2012

Kid Answers For Adult Questions

Have you ever answered a question your kid asked, knowing that the answer didn't really explain anything, but knowing that you can't give them more because they are just not ready for it yet?  I did that today...

So, I'm on the way home from the store with CC and she tells me that she never wants to have a baby.  Now, we have talked about this before.  I am well aware that she has no interest in having a baby in her "tummy."  She has no interest in having a baby come out of her in any way.  She says, "It will hurt and I don't want that."  She has told us time and again that she wants to adopt a child.  Not even adopt a baby.  She wants a kid that has already been through "all the crying and diapers and stuff."  I have told her that whatever she decides, when it's time, is perfectly fine by me and Dad.  Not a problem.  I have also told her that whether she chooses to adopt, chooses to have her own child, or even if she decides to never raise a child we will be proud of her.  Mainly though, I have told her that she has no need to make this decision at 6 years old.

So back to today.  She tells me, again, that she never wants to have a baby.  Then she asks, "Mom, is there a shot that you can get that makes it so you don't have a baby?"  Well, yes.  Kind of, I tell her.  I tell her there is a shot that you can get every 3 months that makes it so you can't have a baby.

She asks if there is one that she can get that will never let her have a baby.-----No, not yet.

She says, "Hmmmmmm well, then I guess I have to get the one every 3 months or else I'll have a baby."

I explain that you don't just wake up pregnant one day.  I tell her that there are "other things that have to happen first."

"Like what?"  She asks.----Uh, oh...I tell her "kissing and stuff"  Ugh, what am I supposed to say?  She is SIX...Of course, then she asks, "what other stuff?"

At this point, I am thinking, "What the hell, kid?  Really?  Now?"  I say, "I don't think I should explain this to you now.  Can you wait until you are older?"

Her response, "Like when I'm 11?  Will you tell me when I'm 11?"

"Sure, kid, sure.  When you're 11 I'll tell you."

She left it alone at that point(well, after making me promise to tell her when she turns 11), but I felt like crap.  I have always been of the school of thought that if she asks the question she should get an age appropriate answer.  I think I gave her that, but I feel like I could have done better...I was just caught completely off guard.  lol

What would you have said?