And I thought boys were bad...

All the dirt of boys, plus the attitude...

Monday, October 6, 2014

I have a teenage daughter...

My name is Kristen and I have a teenage daughter.

This is an admission far larger than it looks.  It means, I have no idea what I am doing.  It means that I feel like I have lost control.  It means that I am terrified that I'm doing it wrong.  It means I need help.

I am coming up against things I never dealt with as a teen because the internet wasn't a part of my life when I was her age.  I didn't have a cell phone.  I don't knwo what to do when she abuses these things.  I mean, I do.  I take them away, but the reality is that she is going to have to live with this technology and she needs to know how to be safe.  It's like any other social interaction...you have to learn it to do it safely.  You have to use it to learn it.

The problem is that I feel like I have lost control.  Like I don't have any idea what is going on in her life, though at the same time I feel like we have a pretty open line of communication.  Am I fooling myself or can both be true?

After spending way too much "at work" time googling the interwebs for answers, I have come up with one.

I feel like I have lost control because I have.  She is not a child anymore.  She is a teen.  She is going to make mistakes and the consequences of those mistakes are going to suck.  All I can do is try to minimize the size of the mistakes that she makes.  Not giving her a data plan for her phone is one way.  Taking away the camera phone when I see an issue is another...

...but there will be mistakes and there is nothing I can do about it.

How do I make peace with that?  How do I raise her without locking her down, and therefore losing her, completely?

My name is Kristen and I have a teenage daughter.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Letting go

So I have already failed.  I wanted to start writing at least one post a week and I completely missed last week!  Talk about a lack of commitment...

Oh, well.  It's Monday and it's a new week.  I can just start again.  That's the awesome thing about life, right?  Having a bad day?  It's only gonna last 24 hours!  Having a bad morning?  Only till noon!  We have this amazing ability to change our perception and change our lives whenever we want.  We are never stuck!

This is something I have to remember for myself every day.  See, I work in sales.  Over the phone.  I get people hanging up on me and yelling at me for existing most days.  How in the world would I be able to continue to do this job if I couldn't start my hour/morning/day/week over whenever I need to?

It's a valuable lesson, though, outside of work as well.  I don't have to sit in a bad feeling.  I don't have to stay in a shitty moment.  I get to leave that minute in 60 seconds and I can choose to leave it behind me.  Now, I can also choose to carry it with me.  We all can.  The problem is that if we choose to carry it with us, we end up carrying around a figurative bag of bad minutes and days that just weigh us down.

One of the main things I try to impart on my little and not so little ones is that they don't have to put minutes in that sack.  They don't even have to have one!  They can just let all those bad minutes go and make the next one rock!  It's hard and it's a process, but anyone can do it and everyone should.

How do you let go of the crap that weighs you down?

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Life Is Good

It's been brought to my attention that I have not written anything here in a long freaking time and it's true!  I've been really busy with living life and I haven't made much time to write about it.

So what's been going on with us?  Well, let's start with the kids since that's what this is all about. 

Miss A turned 13 a couple of weeks ago, though we all know she's been a teenager in mind for a while...No, she's actually blossoming from an amazing child to a wonderful young lady.  I am very proud of her!  She went on her first airplane trip by herself to visit her Nana in Utah.  They went to the zoo, an amusement park, and her very first concert!  The baby who made me a mommy isn't much of a baby anymore...

CC is coming into her own as well.  She's definitely becoming her very own person: smart, talented, and has her very own interests in things.  She's got opinions about everything.  The biggest challenge with her is teaching her when it's appropriate to express those opinions and when going along is the best option.  She's got some spunk in her and I love it!  She'll definitely be one who gets what she wants out of life and she'll do it by force if need be.

Hubby and I have started our very own business.  You may or may not remember that we switched from smoking cigarettes to vaping a while ago.  Part of getting on board with that, for us, was learning to make our own e-liquid, or e-juice.  It was important to me to know how it was all made.  I needed to know that I was moving away from something really bad for me and toward something that was going to be better.  A lot of research went into really committing to vaping and that lead me to become passionate about the flavor of my e-liquid.  Needless to say we developed some flavors and released a juice line: Shades of X.  We are doing well and are loving every minute of it.

Of course we both still have our jobs.  I don't know that this will ever become something I can do fulltime, but it's fun and we are helping people.  That's the point.

I am going to try to find time to write at least once a week.  It's a really good exercise for me, even if no one ever reads it.  It's good to find time to reflect on life and find out what really matters.  Life can get pretty overwhelming if I never take a step back and look at the bigger picture.

If you're reading this, how are you?  What's new in your life?