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Monday, October 12, 2015

Life With A Teenager

It has been a really long time since I've written anything here.  There are many reasons for that, but there are 2 that really stand out.

1) I stopped because I was concerned with the privacy of my teenager.  I didn't want to air her "dirty laundry" on the internet.  (This is what I told myself)

2) I didn't want to tell you all how much trouble she was getting into because I was worried about looking like a bad parent.  (I think this is the real reason)

It's been a really hard couple of years with Miss A.  I couldn't even begin to tell you how it started or all the things that have come up, and honestly I don't have the energy to type it all out.  I'll just start with recent and we'll see where we go as time goes on.

Simple background: Miss A had gotten in trouble and lost her phone and all her privileges due to some crap that she did that I'm not going to type out right now.  She is also in theater at school and has told us she really likes to stay after school to help out with building sets.  She had lost her phone and as long as that was gone, she was not allowed to stay after because we had no way to get in touch her.  She finally got her phone back and asked to stay after school for theater.

We agreed to let her stay after with the condition that she promise to stay on campus and be where she said she was going to be.  

She agreed, I checked.  Trust, but verify.

When I spoke to her teacher I found that, not only was she not in the theater class, but she also had only ever stayed after once.  We've let her stay after half a dozen times.  

I called her.

She didn't answer.

I called her dad, my husband, and he went to look for her.

She was found off campus with a friend.  Not where she said she was going to be.  Not answering her phone.  Not returning text messages.

I yelled.  I screamed.  I told her how she made me feel.  I told her that since she doesn't seem to care about how her decisions effect us, we would stop making her happiness a factor in our decisions.  Her health, her care, and her needs would always be a factor but her wants?  Those were gone.  The extra?  Done.  I'm not willing to continue doing extra for someone who won't do the basics for me.  I'm done.

I also stripped her room.  She has a bed and clothes.  I'm done.

I did leave her one book.  A book about a girl her age who has made incredible choices to do the right thing no matter what.

I'm hoping that she will learn something.

I guess I'm not done.

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