And I thought boys were bad...

All the dirt of boys, plus the attitude...

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Open Letter To The Rest Of The World (from an American citizen)

Dear Rest Of The World,

What do we look like to you?

Do we look as bad from over there as we do from where I sit?

Shootings, hate crimes and terrorism (both domestic and from elsewhere), families going bankrupt and homeless simply because someone got sick, pretty close to zero access to mental health care for a large portion of the country, Donald-freaking-Trump...

I can't see anything grand about the "good ol' U.S. of A"...can you?

Do we look like lazy, uncaring, self-centered slobs from where you are?

Is there any good that you can see?

Part of me wants you to lie to me and tell me you can see good in this country of mine so that I can sleep a little better at night.  I want you to tell me that "it's all going to be okay" so that when I tuck my daughters in I have something to tell them.  I want to hear something that will make me feel better, but I know that's part of the problem.  We lie to ourselves and try to forget.

So, please, tell me the truth.  What do you see?  Is it as bad as I think it is?

And do you see a path to make it better?  Because right now I'm in the middle of the forest and I can't see a way out.  All the paths seem to run in circles and leave me right where I started again.

Is there a solution to the day to day fear that many people feel?

Is there a way to stop all the violence?  To educate the hateful so that they are not afraid anymore and maybe, just maybe, teach them to love?

How do you get 323 million people to think about someone other than themselves for more than the 10 seconds it takes to post a "thoughts and prayers" status update?  To look up from their phones long enough to see another human being for the soul that they are?

What do we look like from over there?  And is it fixable?

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Not Sorry Not Sorry

There are a lot of wrong things happening in this country lately.  At least, I am seeing a lot of wrong things happening in this country lately.


Racism.

Rape.

Prejudice.

Civil rights violations.


These are things I was taught aren't excusable in America.  And that's the thing: It's not so much that these things are happening, these things have always happened, it's that people are defending them.  People are excusing these actions.

I find myself in conversations about racism, equal rights, and rape far more often than I ever thought I would and I often find myself apologizing for the passion with which I talk about my opinions the correct side.

Let me be clear, I'm apologizing for being passionate about NOT HURTING PEOPLE.

I'm done.

You're damn right I am "unkind" about Donald Trump and those who support him.

You're damn right I "lack acceptance" about people who hate others because of their skin color, sexual identity, or gender.

You're damn right I "lack forgiveness" for rapists and those who excuse their actions.

Being a good person doesn't require that I be kind about hateful people.  Being a good person doesn't require that I accept or forgive unacceptable and harmful actions.  Actually, maybe it does, but if that's the case then fuck being a "good person."  I'd rather be on the right side. I'd rather be able to sleep at night.  I'd rather be a good parent and leave this world better than I found it.

Being a good parent requires that I stand up for those who are being wronged, because that's what my kids should do.  It requires that I speak out against injustice even when no one wants to hear it, because that's what my kids should do.  It requires that I talk about and never forget the actions of rapists and the lack of punishment that they receive.

I have to explain to my kids why children in their schools are more racist than they've ever seen before, thanks to Donald Trump and those who think like him.

I have to explain to my kids why two people who love each other are hated, or why that lady is supposed to use the men's restroom from now on, thanks to ignorant assholes.

I have to tell my daughters that a rapist received only 6 months in jail after being caught in the act raping an unconscious woman. I have to tell them that's not the first time the judicial system has so blatantly excused the actions of a rapist and it won't be the last.

I'm passionate about humanity.  I'm passionate about making the world a better place through kindness and love.  I'm passionate about accountability.

I won't apologize for it anymore.

I don't care if it makes you uncomfortable.  I don't care if you feel uneasy.  I don't even care if you never talk to me again.  If you break ties because I am sticking up for someone who was wronged, good.  I don't want you near me or my family anyway.

We all need to stop apologizing for standing up for the right thing.  We all need to stop apologizing for being on the correct side of an issue.

I won't even apologize for not being sorry.  Fuck #sorrynotsorry.  I'm #NOTsorrynotsorry.